oh no shaneo!
by madame bloodbathe
Summary: sequel to double trouble, now the twins are on the farm. stars: the hardyz, some of the amazons, the twins and the hurricane. warning some colourful language. pleases r


Disclaimer:I dont own Our Sir William but i know the people that do and i have their permission to use this name aside from that you know the drill people. 

Foreword: it is three years since the last adventure of the hardy twins and they are a little older, they are a little wiser. This episode is set down on the farm with Uncle Tony (Allison's brother). The twins are now 6 years old. (This is the second last chapter in the series look out for the next chapter entitled 'no fear'.)

"I want daddy to be like Uncle Tony." Hallie exclaimed. "No hunny," She gently pushed her little girls brown hair out of her face, "Daddy already works with large sweaty animals." 

"Hey!" Jeff Hardy ran over to his sister in law and 6-year-old niece "her daddy works with me!" 

Allison laughed as her daughter touched her uncle's chest and said "eww! I see what you mean." Then Hallie ran off to join her other uncle who was a champion pacer trainer (pacers are horses that trot), "Uncle Tony it's my turn now." Allison walked away from the house with Jeff to join her husband Matt Hardy by the trotting track.

Luke, their son and Hallie's twin, was very excited. "Did ya see me dad!" Matt picked his son up, sat him on the new timber fences and ruffled his hair.

"I sure did Lukie, you rode that horse fine."

Luke shook his head violently, "No! Not rode daddy, drove the horse." Matt looked shocked, then met his wife's gaze "They're getting more like you by the day." 

" I hope so if they got more like you I'd be worried." 

She froze in terror,"Oh my god, I never thought we'd have to relive the terror the horror." She couldn't stand the look on Shane's face. Allison burst out laughing. "I'm sorry Shane but you really screwed things up last time you were here!" 

Shane went an awkward shade of red and pouted. He'd been told that Ally's brother trained racing horses. So Shane jumped to the conclusion that the horse were gallopers and could be ridden.

BOM, BOM! WRONG!! The horses, used to pulling a small trolley (gig) behind them, had not been impressed when the Hurricane leapt onto their backs and kicked into them. They reared, kicked, bolted and Shane fell, rolled, hid in the stables shaking during the chaos ensuing. Helms thoughts were shattered by an almighty yell. Ally looked up at her brother and brother-in-law. She heard the sound of rapid hoofbeats. There was a second horse and gig on the track. Moving slowly, she calmly walked over to the railing and hit her brother in the arm. 

"Where is my husband? And where are my kids?" 

The red gig came roaring past "Mommy, Mommy look at me" with Hallie proudly driving standing in the footholds because she was too small to sit. Hurricane walked up between Allison and Tony. 

"Isn't that Hallie?" Allison nodded, tears of pride in her eyes. The mood quickly changed 

"YOU AGAIN!" Shane didn't have time to duck, a solid fist hit him in the eye "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HORSES!" Tony yelled then turned away and happily waved at the drivers of the blue gig. 

"Daddy he killed him" Luke was holding the reins while sitting in his dad's lap. 

"I think so Lukie. You better let me off."

Luke looked up puzzled "but I can't Daddy." Matt realized his not so small son was telling the truth and let out that yell again.

"GET ME OFF THIS THING!" 

No one had moved from the fence ( or in Shane's case the floor). They were laughing too hard.

"Don't be such a chook!" Allison yelled at her husband. Matt and Luke were making good time hooning around on the second lap. 

"What's a chook?" 

Hallie was now on her third or fourth solo lap, she leaned over the side of her gig and made a chicken noise to her sulking father (Note from Madame: a chook if you haven't guessed is a chicken). Matt ignored her and her mother and turned his attention back to his son. "If you can drive this horse how come you cant make it stop."

Luke smiled "I give Uncle Tony a signal and he stops the horse, but he said not to tell you Daddy." 

Matt became irritated, "please give him the signal." He said through clenched teeth. 

Luke's smile grew broader "Okie dokie daddy." He looked at Tony, who nodded and stepped onto the track.

"Whoa, William" Tony put his hands up. Our Sir William (the horse) stopped gently. Shane Helms was standing next to Allison sulking. Jeff was teasing him. Allison had a camera ready for her brother's scheme. The brother picked up the reins and handed them to Matt "hold these". Matt took them assuming he would only be holding them for second. Tony took Luke off and gave Our Sir William a pat on the rump. William was off like a shot with Matt still in the gig. Tony sauntered back to the house to get a beer, Jeff accompanied him. Ally and Luke had tears streaming down their faces.

"They're laughing at him," Shane recognized a citizen in trouble "this looks like a job for the Hurricane." This sudden outburst caused them laugh harder. The Hurricane ran onto the track, the horse that was coming straight for him slowed to a stop. The Hurricane walked around the back of the horse to the gig smugly all the while holding the reins so that the horse couldn't run away. Triumphantly he turned to Allison and Luke, both of whom were laughing harder.

"DICKHEAD HELMS!!"

Matt in the blue gig came sailing past behind Our Sir William. Hurricane spun to look at his niece'(the kids have been calling Shane helms and Damien uncle' that makes Hallie their niece right?). 

"Wrong horse, Uncle Shane" Hallie booted him in the kneecap. Allison started laughing again as Hallie, completely undaunted, yanked the reins from Hurricanes grasp and sped off. Shane got to his feet again, he limped to the fence "Lukie, will you get Uncle Shane an ice pack?" 

Luke looked hopeful "will a packet of frozen peas do?" 

Shane nodded. Lukie raced to the house. Shane looked at his feet rather than at Allison. 

"I know you're itchin' to say something." 

"Gonna try again mighty super hero?" 

"Fuck you OW!"

The blue gig came past, "don't talk to my wife like that bitch! Now come and get me off this thing or I'll give you something to complain about." Matt was throwing the rocks that were shooting up from the ground. As Matt went around again, Hurricane sucked up all his knowledge of horses. "If I lie on the ground the horse will stop right?" 

Ally shrugged "Only one way to find out" 

Shane threw himself onto the track. Our Sir William continued to run. Maybe he didn't see the odd green creature on the track, maybe he did but he sure as hell didn't stop. Shane leapt from the track just as the horse's hooves landed. "COWARD" shouted Matt watching Hurricane hide behind a hay bale. 

Lukie ran out again with the bag of peas. "Here ya go Uncle Shane." Hallie was once again approaching the fence Allison walked onto the track and flagged her daughter down. 

"Watch how it's done Shane-o." She climbed into the gig behind her and they set off around the track after Daddy. Shane sat with Luke and the ice pack' on his knee. "Hallie hunny it is very important that you listen to me, this is what we're going to do." Hallie was standing behind her mother and Allison was holding the reins and driving. They approached Matt and Our Sir William. Matt was shocked to see his wife driving the horse and his six-year-old daughter standing behind her, on a slim piece of metal, having a great time.

"HALLIE!" Matt was terrified. Allison pulled up close, Hallie jumped (much to matt's horror) from her mother's back to her father's lap. Matt almost passed out. Hallie took the reins from her father, climbed into the footholds and pulled back hard. Hurricane and Luke were on their feet applauding as Hallie and Allison brought the horses to a dead stop in front of them. Tony and Jeff put the horses in their stables and hurricane led the shaking Matt into the house. 

******Later that night they sat outside watching the sunset.******

"It's a pity Tye's on the road" Shane said sadly. 

"No it's not," shouted Hallie leaping from her father's lap "it's so fucking quiet when she's not here." Hallie was the center of attention. 

Matt looked at Jeff, Jeff looked at Shane, and Shane looked at Tony. "MONGRELLE!" they yelled.

Allison bundled Hallie inside and her father and associate uncles crowded around the telephone. After three minutes Matt hung up. "She hasn't got her cell phone on." He said throwing the phone down in disgust. 

Luke was still sitting outside, he looked lonely. 

"What's up little man?" 

Luke looked up and smiled. He opened the door and yelled to the amazon in front of him 

"Mongrelle? ,,, MONGRELLE! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HALLIE JUST SAID!" 

THE END


End file.
